Women’s Division 3
Falcons vs Port Melbourne Sharks
4 – 2
In the industrial wasteland that is Port Melbourne, Darebin Falcons’ Women’s State League 3 West team manufactured its first win of the season on Sunday.
Two goals apiece for player-coach Sheila “The Troot” Carter and Jane “I’ll Play As Many Games In A Day As You Need Me To” Sullivan sealed a convincing 4-2 win. Unfortunately a shock win for Fawkner over Melbourne University stopped the Falcons climbing off the bottom of the ladder but the three points will no doubt be a solid foundation on which to build.
Played in bright sunshine, an even first half edged the visitors’ way when Carter snuck in a long-range effort off the left upright. A fast break and some uncertainty in Darebins’ backline allowed Port to level the scores but when “Tricky” Jo Rooney pulled a rabbit out of her hat (ie laid the ball off), Sullivan’s dangerous cross was deflected past the home keeper to make it 2-1. Buoyed by the halftime lead the Falcons pledged to finish the job but received a setback when the home side bundled home another equaliser midway through the second half. It was unfair on the Falcons defence, which had been superbly marshalled by Staci Timms and Ruth Barton, but the stalemate did not last long as Carter unleashed from fully 40m to give Port’s keeper no chance. This time there was no coming back from the home side and Sullivan kept her cool in the final minutes to ice the win.
Anon
Women’s Division 2
Falcons vs Port Melbourne Sharks
0 – 3
Someone recently said to me “…wait, what’s ‘Port Melbourne’?”
It’s a real suburb guys. If you head southwest from the CBD and make it past Crown Casino without getting trampled by tourists or your head caved in by a drunken bogan you will soon find yourself there. And, GET THIS: it has a port, and ALSO GET THIS: it has a soccer club. Port Melbourne is Sharks town (I can only assume that this is what definitely happens when the Sharks meet the Yarra Jets). So did the Sharks stink on the weekend? No, they did not. Unless by stink you mean kick our butts in which case yes, they did. Here’s an interesting shark fact: while many people fear sharks and think of them as one of the world’s most aggressive and deadly animals, the chances of dying from a shark attack fall well below the chances of being killed by hornets, wasps, bees or dogs1. However, you are more likely to die from a shark attack than from a coordinated attack of hornets, wasps, bees and dogs all at once. I’m no scientist (any longer) but I think this is why the Falcons lost the game.
There were moments when I thought Carmen was going to break all the way through from the back line to score a goal. There were moments when I thought Niddie would reach the goal with a trail of defenders dragging behind her. There were moments when I thought Birdie was going to fly, really fly! But then there were also moments when I wondered why I didn’t have the basic motor skills to kick a ball. Life is all about moments. Here’s another interesting shark fact: baby sharks are called giblets.
1 Discovery Channel
Pip MacKay