You better believe it. Scientists know what they’re snorting about.
If you don’t believe in the existence of science I suggest you read on anyway and just trust that I have my finger on some kind of a pulse here.

Division 2
Falcons vs. Port Melbourne Sharks
3 – 0
Oh hey, what’s up? 
What have I been doing? Oh, just hanging out in Italy. No big deal. 
Eating pizza with French Fries on it. I think we all know how that goes.
So what’s been happening since then? Um, we played a game last weekend and we won. You’re probably expecting me to follow that claim with a witty “Just kidding bozos!” but I am not kidding bozos. I am deadly serious, and this was no accident. This was a resounding 3-0 beating. I like to think that we had a six point plan consisting of the following six points:
1. Win the game.
I saw some fa-fa-fancy footwork. Yeah, this was happening all over the field (Preview. We are so limber. I couldn’t give you a play by play of all of the goals. I just remember there being some wicked passing between Sina, Nicky and a mystery third player, a ball dribbling across the line off the foot of someone who I don’t think expected to score, and the third goal I don’t remember at all but I know it was awesome. Sports reporting: not my forte.
Our back line was virtually impenetrable throughout the game, like some kind of fortress. The Sharks had few opportunities to infiltrate the nerve centre and hack into the mainframe. Better luck next time suckas. Mwa ha ha ha ha. Mwa HA HA HA HA. MWA HA HA HA HA HA H AH AH AH AAH AAaa hH ha aaaaaah.
So, on a scale of one to ten, one being the dumbest thing ever and ten being wicked cool, I give this match an eight out of ten and recommend it to anyone who likes soccer or hacking into mainframes. The only reason I can’t give it a higher score is because no one roundhouse kicked an airborne ball into the goal. Thanks for nothing guys.
Pip MacKay